Aunt Mary's Closet

When I was, let's say, between 5 and 12 years old, I was especially aware of stylish women in my life. Not necessarily rich or wealthy, in fact tipping toward the other end of the spectrum, but always so (as they themselves might had said) "sweetly" put together. High heels, fur wraps, snappy fitted suits, flowing dresses, classy cashmere sweaters. These were my mother and her sisters. Those years of my life primed me for the day I'd be grown up and could make the same sort of fashion statement - one of femininity and delight.

But, just like a finger placed lightly on a 33 1/3 which dragged the speed of beautiful music to a distorted, disturbing speed, upon entering "my" decade of fashion choices and styles, the 1970's hit. Gone with the proverbial wind were those fashion icons I'd longed to be old enough to wear, as chunky heeled shoes, granny gowns, and hip hugger pants entered dominance.

Shopping was a nightmare because I was looking for something that had been wiped from the planet - except in my aunts' closets. And, 40 years later I finally understand a part of the delight I was awarded upon being invited to sift through their closets and see if there might be anything I'd like. Are you kidding me???? "See if there's anything you might like," they'd say. Still breeds up some pretty strong emotions ... validation. welcome. graciousness. comfort. beauty. Aunt Mary. Aunt Dorothy. Aunt Hazel. Aunt Faye. Aunt Kaye. Aunt Nettie. And, my mother, Ann. Women born into anything but graciousness, but who were graced with it within. You'd never, ever, have known they picked cotton and mothered each other after a tragic and early loss of their own. And they cultivated graciousness over cotton and tragedy and shared it so naturally that it seemed nothing else even existed when I was around them.

So, the invitation to explore the closet brought me close to something beautiful (in a way, C. S. Lewis-esque), not just in fashion, but in that internal graciousness which is the source of all things beautiful. What they wore on the outside was a continuation of what welled up inwardly. And it was a truly beautiful combination. We all want to create the kind of environments that bring about our greatest sense of ease and calm, and they did it in their presentation of themselves to the world. There was power in their beauty, it affected people around them. It was a part of the fashion of the time, I know that, and yet what these women did was timeless and is something I still want despite the trends of any day. I recognize now that I speak with a catch in my throat when I think on how close we are to completely losing this wondrousness that they shared, and it's up to me, to us, to carry it on. May we always have a closet worthy of invitation, and be quick to invite.