Life Atlas

I don't like giving directions to a place I've never been. I am wary of leading others astray. If the directions are not familiar to me from personal experience, I've been know to jump in the car and make a trial run following the directions I've been given before passing them on to someone else. Right before sending out invitations to our wedding reception I, shall we say, "encouraged" Frank to take us on a dry run to the remote destination. And, in much the same vein, I "encouraged" Frank to drive with me all the way from Huntsville, Alabama to Taft, Tennessee to the site of a celebration brunch, decisively following our own directions as we'd composed them before sharing them with our friends.

Seems I can't be sure of a journey, and certainly can't direct others on the same journey, unless I have traveled it myself.

And that has been a point of enlightenment for me. I often find myself discarding advice or opinions - and certainly being wary of giving advice or opinions - on subjects I know have not been personally experienced. And many of us generously serve opinion and advice like they're dollops of mashed potatoes. Who among us has not heard someone give a thorough synopsis, and resulting opinion, of a movie they've not seen or a book they've not read.

Nothing beats knowing personally what words like "6 - 18 months" feel like. Or, "the mass is 6 centimeters." Or, knowing how chemo feels, and how the process of loosing one's hair actually happens. Nothing can ever prepare a person for loosing a coveted job or position like actually loosing a coveted job or position. All the theories on how to manage Alzheimer's or Parkinson's pale in comparison of having traveled along with someone down that path. The guilt of divorce, the starkness of widowhood, the need to take the reigns, nothing can compare to experiencing those pivotal moments.

Being a subject of bullying develops an understanding of how words wound in a way that no onlooker can ever fully understand. Calling Huntsville's street people friends breeds kindredship as human beings unlike any study of demographics can. Having a common goal with someone very different opens the mind and the heart like no amount of reading about ways to do it can ever accomplish. Entering into the homes and life conditions of others outside our own awakens understanding that cannot be known from street view.

In experiencing the heartwarming joys, the unbearable pains and griefs, the paralyzing uncertainties, the awesome moments which reveal the sacredness of life, we're all building a Life Atlas. And in that Atlas will be directions, and landmarks that will lead others. Let's take great care then, shall we, in being careful that we, ourselves, have personally traveled to the destinations we include.