I pride myself on not being a pack rat. And, again, the proverb proves true once again ... pride goeth before a fall. The fall occurred just this morning as I sat tending the repair and refurbishment of a raggedy clown doll that my husband had as a child 58 years ago. The arms are tiny in my hands as I make tiny little handsewn stitches. And that reminds me - oh so reminds me - of the Barbie clothes I received for Christmas the year we lived in Elizabethton TN and I was in second grade.

The text on the box as seen camouflaged through the wrapping paper led me to think I was getting something else. The ruse was secure. My mother, in a clandestine move that could have impressed the CIA, had sewn me an entire wardrobe of Barbie clothes! Circle skirt dresses! a Wedding dress with veil! Coats! A-line dresses! Princess style dresses! A dream of heaven opened up as the contents of that gift poured out into my lap. Those clothes were treasured. They were my one big bragging point with all my friends, always, always all the way through ... well, when? I guess most of my life.

I thanked my mother profusely year after year. I thanked her even more profusely as I grew up and started really noticing and thinking about the hundreds of tiny stitches required to piece these garments together ... most done on machine, but countless others by hand where the tiny turn or hem could not have been made otherwise.

And, I am thankful that I voiced my admiration, appreciation, and gratitude for that wardrobe, because sitting here this morning making similar tiny stitches, I've thought I'd call her again and tell her wow, thanks again! But, those days of making a call, having a conversation are gone forever. That makes me sad, but also affirms the rightness of saying thank you when we have the chance.

The fall occurred not when I grieved the loss of my mother, when I found myself missing her. That's all good in its own way. The fall occurred when I wondered where those clothes are now? Oh dear. My daughters played into their adulthood with the same Barbies and clothes. After that succession did we (I) pass them on to another generation out there somewhere? That seems so like me. And I have prided myself on that. But, now I wonder. I really wonder. And I wish. And, uh-oh ... I am very sad.

Old things creep me out. I free myself easily from things. However, I now have to confess that I wish I still had a few things. Alas, we just go from where we are, so "onward." But, a lesson has been learned. Treasure things from the hands of those we love.