Sheriff Rhonda just got called down by the law. It's about time, I guess. Never even had any kind of ticket in my 55 years. But today all that nearly changed ... it didn't fully change because I was let go with a warning in a kind of anticlimactic way after the blue lights and singular siren burp.
If anyone is on the side of the law, I am. Grew up respecting my police officer father more than I can tell you, and learned from that a trust that most law enforcement has the best of intentions under the literal worst of circumstances. I want to do good and what's right. I have no need to buck the rules.
So today's scrutiny came as quite a surprise as I was taking my friend home after an afternoon together. She happens to be a 10 year old African American girl who lives in public housing. We had just spent the past hour together, as we do every Thursday afternoon after school, at a community center where I give her a piano lesson. She's just mastered the left hand of the last piece in Teaching Little Fingers to play. She was humming it on our way to her home.
Upon entering the development where she lives, I turned on my left turn signal - ever always careful to use them properly you see - and started to begin thinking about making the turn when my friend shouted out the window "Momma! There's my momma!" Momma is in a park to my right - my friend shouts to me "Turn right! Turn right!" I follow suit easily, it's a residential section, not much traffic, slow speed, and make the right turn quickly but only after confirming it was not hazardous in any way ... but my left turn signal is still "a-blinking." I am aware of my mistake, but see no harm in it until ...
The officers approach my car, one on either side of me, confess that they "were not following me," point out my mistake, ask to see my license, again say they "were not following me," give me a warning this time and send me on my way.
I have felt conspicuous entering the public housing development where two of my friends live and who I pick up each week for music lessons. Children have begun gathering around my shiny red Volvo, hoping to get in on whatever it is that I am offering. I've seen neighbors watching the old white woman coming in to take the children away (I have parental consent) and I have wondered if I am suspect.
Because they "were not following me" (two officers who were white, just like me), I can't help but wonder if I have been reported, someone different who enters in and interacts with the children. I can't help but wonder if the neighborhood wonders if I am "dealin'" something.
The more I think about it, I realize I am dealin' something with the children. I am dealin' opportunity in the form of relationship and music education. I am dealin' juice boxes and apples. I go where the children are and get them and take them to a place where they get committed relationship to stick with them through school suspensions or bus suspensions, or expulsions, and to get their attention on practice and progress and hope and music for the sake of music. I love seeing them looking at nothing but the music and their fingers on the violin strings or piano keyboard. No one is threatening them. No one is judging them. They relax and focus on something worthy. And they gain from it.
I've heard it asked of gang leaders how they get such support and participation by vulnerable kids. The answer that stands out is "We're there." The gathering around my car, the desire for kids I've never even met begging to "go to violin, too" is proof that these children often go where the "get in the car" is.
I am going to keep being there. Because goodness for the sake of the children has to be there, too.
Friday, May 3, 2013
Monday, March 18, 2013
Please help me understand. I mean it. I am past my rage. Past my shock. Past my disdain. And past my personal offense. Or, at least let's say I'm past all that. For the sake of argument anyway.
But, truly, those of you who get it. Who support her. Those of you who have voted for her and would vote for her again, explain it to me. Explain to me why, when Sarah Palin speaks, the audience not only applauds but stands in ovation. WHY? I want to understand the answer. Why are people not outraged.
Because when I heard her speak just now, of it being the Christmas her husband got the gun and she got the rack I felt betrayed. I was betrayed. Every other woman who has ever lived and suffered because she did or did not have said "rack," or suffered and/or died because of the disease attacking said "rack" was also betrayed on some level. What happens when her rack is compromised? What will she have to say then? Her lack of depth of sensitivity and understanding is mind boggling.
And if I can apologize in some way for her having said it, I cannot apologize for an entire audience leaping in ovation after that comment when she then proceeds to mock the truly damaging effects of a Big Gulp. Of course, banning the Big Gulp seems over the top, but at least there is an effort to send the message that maybe we ought to think (does that happen much anymore?) before fueling our bodies with the stuff. Her message is destroy at will. We have the right to destroy at will. At least the destruction is tasty. And not so painful with a nice rack.
With her presentation a disservice has been done to women. A disservice has been done to children who look for role models. And the whole point of public service is ... well ... service. Not disservice.
So tell me why sucking on a Big Gulp with lips that have been prepped for presentation, why mocking an attempt at weaning ourselves from obesity and diabetes and sugar highs and mocking an attempt at setting a standard for health gets the standing ovation.
Tell me.
But, truly, those of you who get it. Who support her. Those of you who have voted for her and would vote for her again, explain it to me. Explain to me why, when Sarah Palin speaks, the audience not only applauds but stands in ovation. WHY? I want to understand the answer. Why are people not outraged.
Because when I heard her speak just now, of it being the Christmas her husband got the gun and she got the rack I felt betrayed. I was betrayed. Every other woman who has ever lived and suffered because she did or did not have said "rack," or suffered and/or died because of the disease attacking said "rack" was also betrayed on some level. What happens when her rack is compromised? What will she have to say then? Her lack of depth of sensitivity and understanding is mind boggling.
And if I can apologize in some way for her having said it, I cannot apologize for an entire audience leaping in ovation after that comment when she then proceeds to mock the truly damaging effects of a Big Gulp. Of course, banning the Big Gulp seems over the top, but at least there is an effort to send the message that maybe we ought to think (does that happen much anymore?) before fueling our bodies with the stuff. Her message is destroy at will. We have the right to destroy at will. At least the destruction is tasty. And not so painful with a nice rack.
With her presentation a disservice has been done to women. A disservice has been done to children who look for role models. And the whole point of public service is ... well ... service. Not disservice.
So tell me why sucking on a Big Gulp with lips that have been prepped for presentation, why mocking an attempt at weaning ourselves from obesity and diabetes and sugar highs and mocking an attempt at setting a standard for health gets the standing ovation.
Tell me.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Get ready ... brace yourself ...
Yummy Wife – Hot Nude Wives At Home, Horny Cheating Wife,
Bang My Wife
Login – Married Wife Cheating Wives Wife Lovers …
Nymphomaniac Wife/Hot Wife With High Sex Drive/More …
Wife – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Benefits, Rules of Wife Swapping & Wife Swapping Stories
I was neither ready nor braced when the search results were up ... all the above are the top five results from a bing search of the word "wife." I had intended to enter the name of a man I had just heard speak in a TED talk who referred to his wife several times, followed by the word "wife." Instead, the way whatever is written in the search window is highlighted when the window is revisited and then deleted when additional typing begins, I ended up unintentionally searching for the singular word "wife."
And, in an instant, the top five webpage results for the word "wife" were splayed across my computer screen. My repsonse? Confusion. Then shock. Then horror. Then anger. Then despair for the condition of the honor of "wife".
I remember from over 30 years ago a comment from a husband to his wife that he wanted her to be "more than a wife." I distinctly remember wondering, silently of course, what that meant. How could a wife be more than a wife unless "wife" implied something less than, something limited, something undesirable. These top websites, with the notable exception of Wikipedia, seem to speak to that syndrome.
A "wife" has been denigrated into a concept of "vulgar," which has been denigrated into a concept of desireable. Dishonor and disregard accomplished.
Proverbs 12:4a
Proverbs 12:4a
A good wife is the crown of her husband ...
Friday, March 8, 2013
Monday, February 25, 2013
This world
It is when we try to make this world be more than it is, better than it is, that we risk falling victim to hopelessness.
I hear the phrase "stick in the mud" echo in my head nearly every time I voice a criticism or observation or dislike of something. While I truly fear being known as the stick in the mud I also know that sometimes I am the stick in the mud. In my defense, I just can't let go of certain things that I so desire for the people of the world. Even when that desire bucks up against the status quo. And yet, who wants to be around an opinionated, irritating, critical woman with a chip on her shoulder? Not me. And I am with her all the time. Sometimes I just wish she would shut up.
But I will say she causes me to think. She causes me to think beyond myself and to how others are affected and suffering by being mocked or abused by status quo way of thinking. Why do we tolerate the belittling, hurtful words and behaviors often prominantly expressed all around us, but then are intolerate of the sticks in the mud who speak out to rise above?
Where did this belittling identifier "stick in the mud" come from, anyway? I decided to check that out. Here's what I found: An unpleasant contaminate (stick) in the potter's clay that ruins the finished product. Hmmm ... interesting. How about we sic "stick in the mud" on the status qou??!! How about we call Anthony Jeselnik's vulgar and mean spirited comedy stick in the mud? How about Seth's Oscar comment on the assassination of one of the strongest leaders the world has ever known who conveyed, and thereby led, our nation to compassion and regard for the human dignity all people? I say Seth is the pollutant, the adulterer of something good and pure. I'd say the stick in the mud is the concept that tells women that nudity in film is honorable work, when the shocked look on the actresses faces during the We Saw Your Boobs extravaganza defies that concept as truth. That concept is a stick in the mud to dignity and honor. Shocking Revelation #1: woman are vulnerable to disregard. Like it or not, it is true.
The sticks in the mud are standing firm in the muck, trying to voice regard for incredible life experiences that have left many folks wounded and struggling ... and wanting to escape to a safe place. Entertainment can be that safe place, but not when viewers are slapped in the face with the personal memories of violence or loss or cutting words, or are left doubting their own value. Life is full of imperfections, but to strive for a world that does not hurt quite so much seems an honorable desire.
Then comes the second part of the very same definition and origin of the phrase stick in the mud that I used earlier in this rant. After the noble descriptor of "An unpleasant contaminate (stick) in the potter's clay that ruins the finished product," we are presented with the following: Term is applied to unpleasant/ uncooperative persons who spoil fun or good times by being non-homogeneous. With that, stick in the mud becomes an identifier as a pollutant to status qou, as a pollutant to anything goes, as a pollutant to the very value and hope for the human condition. I personally have no desire for a clay pot made without the interference of a stick in the mud or two of insight and wisdom and desire for all that is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy.
Shocking Revelation #2: I hope I keep being a stick in the mud.
But I will say she causes me to think. She causes me to think beyond myself and to how others are affected and suffering by being mocked or abused by status quo way of thinking. Why do we tolerate the belittling, hurtful words and behaviors often prominantly expressed all around us, but then are intolerate of the sticks in the mud who speak out to rise above?
Where did this belittling identifier "stick in the mud" come from, anyway? I decided to check that out. Here's what I found: An unpleasant contaminate (stick) in the potter's clay that ruins the finished product. Hmmm ... interesting. How about we sic "stick in the mud" on the status qou??!! How about we call Anthony Jeselnik's vulgar and mean spirited comedy stick in the mud? How about Seth's Oscar comment on the assassination of one of the strongest leaders the world has ever known who conveyed, and thereby led, our nation to compassion and regard for the human dignity all people? I say Seth is the pollutant, the adulterer of something good and pure. I'd say the stick in the mud is the concept that tells women that nudity in film is honorable work, when the shocked look on the actresses faces during the We Saw Your Boobs extravaganza defies that concept as truth. That concept is a stick in the mud to dignity and honor. Shocking Revelation #1: woman are vulnerable to disregard. Like it or not, it is true.
The sticks in the mud are standing firm in the muck, trying to voice regard for incredible life experiences that have left many folks wounded and struggling ... and wanting to escape to a safe place. Entertainment can be that safe place, but not when viewers are slapped in the face with the personal memories of violence or loss or cutting words, or are left doubting their own value. Life is full of imperfections, but to strive for a world that does not hurt quite so much seems an honorable desire.
Then comes the second part of the very same definition and origin of the phrase stick in the mud that I used earlier in this rant. After the noble descriptor of "An unpleasant contaminate (stick) in the potter's clay that ruins the finished product," we are presented with the following: Term is applied to unpleasant/ uncooperative persons who spoil fun or good times by being non-homogeneous. With that, stick in the mud becomes an identifier as a pollutant to status qou, as a pollutant to anything goes, as a pollutant to the very value and hope for the human condition. I personally have no desire for a clay pot made without the interference of a stick in the mud or two of insight and wisdom and desire for all that is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy.
Shocking Revelation #2: I hope I keep being a stick in the mud.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
This may seem odd ... why would I have given any thought to this whatsoever. However, I just this morning (as I was cleaning the bathroom) became aware that I have spent a good portion of my adult life trying to like Bond. James Bond. It seems I should like him. I mean what's not to like of the adventuresome debonair fellow. But it has not only never clicked with me and James, I have actually had an aversion to him. I thought that with Skyfall I might have my chance to finally like him ... and I don't mean the premise, or the films, or the books, but the real person of James. I'd heard reviews saying this James is introspective. He's human. He has a few failures up his sleeve with all the other cards.
But after watching the Skyfall James, I am no more in like with him than ever, and our relationship may have taken a serious turn for the worse. Yes, he's more introspective, but seemingly only toward himself. It's all about him, what he has lost, what he has given up. I did not see any introspection toward whether he should continue with his license to kill or find other ways of ... well, negotiation, shall we say.
What really disturbs me, though, stems from a comment I made last night to my dear husband after we watched Skyfall. "I find it interesting that in this day of slave trafficking awareness, that Bond's girl was a victim of that. And instead of finding a way out for her, he used her sexually, too." And, I guess we think it's ok ... I mean, it's Bond after all. What woman would not want an encounter with him? And, with that, the sex slave business seems all the more appealing, sexy, alluring, desirable even. And it is not. A huge disservice has been done to the victims by the very gift to woman himself.
And therein lies the problem.
But after watching the Skyfall James, I am no more in like with him than ever, and our relationship may have taken a serious turn for the worse. Yes, he's more introspective, but seemingly only toward himself. It's all about him, what he has lost, what he has given up. I did not see any introspection toward whether he should continue with his license to kill or find other ways of ... well, negotiation, shall we say.
What really disturbs me, though, stems from a comment I made last night to my dear husband after we watched Skyfall. "I find it interesting that in this day of slave trafficking awareness, that Bond's girl was a victim of that. And instead of finding a way out for her, he used her sexually, too." And, I guess we think it's ok ... I mean, it's Bond after all. What woman would not want an encounter with him? And, with that, the sex slave business seems all the more appealing, sexy, alluring, desirable even. And it is not. A huge disservice has been done to the victims by the very gift to woman himself.
And therein lies the problem.
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